What I did on my Thanksgiving Vacation
by Shinigami and Tinkerbell
Summary: The Gundam pilots Thanksgiving. Basically, none of them can cook, and there's no turkey left in the Whole store.


This is only the second collaboration between us, so if it bites (in your opinion) dont take it out on us. You were the one who clicked on this story anyway!  
  
  
  
What I Did On My Thanksgiving Vacation!(if you could call it a vacation)  
  
(This is from Duo Maxwell and Chang Wufei's point of view. We're not sure if they celebrate Thanksgiving but, oh well. We're authors, if we wanted to we could make them soak in butter nut lotion and do the latin hula!)  
  
Wufei woke up and sighed. He could already smell Duo's attempts to cook Thanksgiving Dinner. Apparently, whatever it was they were going to be thankful for was going to be pretty burnt. And crispy. He grimaced and got up to make sure Duo was still alive to put out a fire that he would undoubtedly start with his atrocious cooking.  
  
He got up and walked slowly into the kitchen, afraid of what he might find. He had a horrible vision of Duo standing over a crispy burnt bird. What he saw was much worse.  
"Duo, why are you wearing that ridiculous apron?"  
  
Duo looked up, "what?" he asked, looking confused and pointed to the apron, which read, "Bite the Cooks' big toe if you don't like his cooking!" "It fits the situation!, don't you think?"  
  
"Please don't tell me you're going to wear that all day. And I'm not biting anyone's big toe. I'll shoot it off if you like, because I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like what ever that is in there." Wufei pointed to the now smoking oven. "You had better take whatever that is out, because if you start a fire I'm going to attempt to put it out with your hair."  
  
"Ok, Ok! Its just Heero's spandex pants, i wanted to see if I could set them on fire. He banned me from cooking for us tonight because of the Great Noodle Fiasco." Duo suddenly smiled " You'd think that a pan of noodles wouldn't shoot out of the oven like that but lo and behold, It went through a wall!"  
  
Wufei sighed. "Wait til Heero gets up. He's going to be pretty pissed at you. You know how much he love his ass-hugging pants."  
  
Just then, Heero walked in.  
  
"What is that god-awful smell? I thought I told you to stay out of the kitchen Duo. I swear, if I have to patch up another wall....." he then looked at the pan Duo was pulling out of the oven. "Are those....my...pants?"  
  
Wufei smiled. Duo was going to get it for sure. Nobody messes with Heero's pants. He's had them since he was little. And we do mean since he was little, because they're probably the same pair he had when he was like, 3 or something. That's how little they are.  
  
Duo suddenly looked scared. "Um, you know what? I think I left Deathscythe ...um, on or something...yeah, so Igottago!Bye!" He bolted out of the kitchen at high speed. He was closely pursued by Heero.  
  
"You long haired little buttmuncher! I'm going to kill you!:  
  
Wufei laughed. At least it wasn't food he smelled. He was a bit relieved. Just then, a sleepy Trowa walked in.   
"What was that all about? I smelled the most horrid thing......was Duo attempting to cook again?!"  
  
"Well, in a way. He baked Heero's pants to a crispy black."  
Trowa gasped, then joined Wufei in a hearty guffaw. They woke up Quatre with their snickering, and told him the story. They then looked out the window to see Duo being beaten with a rake, begging for mercy from Heero. Then suddenly they saw Duo grab a bunch of leaves and throw them in Heero's face.   
  
"Up your nose, Bucky-Jim!" He yelled while grabbing a broom and whacking Heero in the dome with it.  
  
They watched this sad display of violence for a few minutes, then Quatre said, "Hey, what are we going to do for Thanksgiving?"  
  
"Good point. We're certainly not letting Chef Duo cook our meal, that's for sure." said Wufei.  
  
"Let's go out for dinner!" suggested Trowa.   
  
"What restaurant is open on Thanksgiving Day you idiot?" said Wufei. "We might have to cook our own meal."  
  
"Wufei, man, we can't cook." said Trowa.  
  
At this time, a badly beaten Heero and Duo limp into the house.  
  
"Well, Duo owes me a new pair of pants. What are we going to do for Thanksgiving?"  
  
"You wish. I would have to go back in time to get a pair of pants that little for you. And what are we going to do for Thanksgiving? You all oppose to my cooking." said Duo.  
  
Wufei thought for a minute. "Well, let's go to the grocery store and see what we can find. Then we can bring it back and microwave it."  
"You can't microwave a turkey, you ass," said Duo  
  
"And you can't microwave a goldfish either, you bastard. But no, you had to try it." retorted Wufei. "You're banned from the microwave forever for that. And you didn't even clean it out. The house smelled like fish for a week, and Relena wasn't even here for it to smell like that."  
  
They all cracked up, " Speaking of stalkers, where's "Livin La tweezer loca?"  
  
"Who knows, and who cares. Let's head to the store."  
  
They all hop in the car and leave. When they get to the store they encounter an unforseen problem. There are no turkeys left. Not even turkey t.v. dinners. Not even turkey lunch meat, turkey dogs, canned turkey, artificial turkey, turkey-jerkey, nothing. As you can imagine, this ticked the 5 guys off.  
  
"What the....I swear. They should have at least one." said Trowa.  
Duo pointed at a sign. It read "Tofu, the healthy alternative to meat. And it's tasty too!"  
"Let's get that. And look, it's really cheap!"  
Heero looked at the tofu. "It looks like bird crap. I don't want to eat that. I would rather have Duo cook for us."  
Quatre sighed. "Let's just order a pizza then."  
Wufei growled at him. "You don't eat pizza on Thanksgiving. Let's look around some more. They have to have something."  
  
They looked around the whole store several times. No turkey anything. Finally, they found themselves back at the tofu display.  
  
"What do you say guys? We can make it look like a turkey if we want," said Duo.  
"Fine. Get it so we can get the hell out of here." said Heero.  
"Let's grab some side dishes and go home," said Trowa.   
"Yeah, at least they have those." said Quatre.  
  
So they all grabbed assorted side dishes that were able to be cooked in the microwave and some pocky. They paid for the food and went home.  
  
When they got home, they threw the side dishes in the microwave and started to dump out the tofu on a big plate. The tofu slid out of the package with a sickening sloppy noise. None of them wanted to touch it.  
  
"You must be crazy if you think I'm going to touch that crap. I told you not to get it in the first place. Nasty crap." said Heero.  
"Well, we have it now, so let's make the best of it." said Duo. He then preceeded to try and shape the tofu like a turkey.  
  
Wufei sniffed the air. " I didn't think it was possible, but I think we burnt the side dishes. Dammit."   
  
They all ran and opened the microwave. They were met with smoke that told them that they better get to liking tofu, because that would be the only thing they would be eating.   
  
Naturally, this caused a fair amount of profanity to be used. We won't go into detail.  
Needless to say, they were slightly angry at their situation.  
  
"You know what? Just throw the damn tofu-turkey in the microwave and call it a day." said Wufei, who was dangerously close to a heart attack.  
"Okay then, but how long should we put it in for? I've never cooked a tofu-turkey before" said Duo.  
"You've never cooked period. You just burn stuff. Besides, you can't touch the microwave. Let me." said Trowa.  
  
They all decided to put it for about 5 minutes. They all watched it turn brown in the microwave. To their surprise, it didn't burn, explode, combust, melt, or any other unfortunate thing that could happen to it. They took it out, put it on the table and surrounded it with their own side dishes i.e potato chips, candy, and pop tarts.   
  
They all stared at each other. "Who's going to taste this?" Quatre said.  
  
Duo suddenly looked decidedly evil, "Well Q-bean, since you decided to speak up, you do it!"  
  
The other four pilots surrounded him, and pinned him to a chair, "Open up, blondie!"  
  
Wufei grabbed a spoon full of tofu-turkey. "here you go Winner."  
  
Quatre gagged and choked on the tofu-turkey. "This tastes like crap! Jesus, throw this crud away!"  
  
"Then what the hell will we eat for Thanksgiving?" screamed Wufei.  
  
"You know what? We can eat what we always eat." said Trowa.  
  
So the 5 Gundam pilots sat down to a Thanksgiving dinner of chips, candy, and pop tarts.   
  
  
The End 


End file.
